(gentle music) - If you're an addict to drugs, that first time can lead to an addiction. I was definitely addicted to porn and drugs. The two went hand in hand. I think men don't really understand how it affects your intimacy. Especially when dealing with the person that you're next to, or the person that you so-called love. In my case, I don't know how all these women that I was dealing with just never brought it up to me, sad to say. - I started noticing Lamar was looking at porn the first couple weeks of knowing him. At first, I'll be honest, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. - In the NBA, if you're late, they just fine you. I think about all the times that I was in my hotel room, game day, and I had to get one more last scene in. So I chose to be late for the bus. Just to watch a porno scene? It's kinda crazy. - He was reaching for his phone more than reaching for me. And I had a problem with that. Because I'm like, I wanna be 100% desired, especially if I'm laying right next to you. I didn't really understand why that was. I think I went through phases. The first phase was, I'm gonna have to join in with him in order to be with him. Then it went from that to, I'm gonna totally deny him of sex and intimacy, and punish him because he's doing this. Then it was, wow has he been with so many women that he's just not even attracted to me? - Women can't compete with porn. But me, if I'm in bed with a beautiful woman, and I'm watching porn while I'm in bed with her, that goes to show that there's a problem. I think as I started to get closer and closer to Sabrina, she just brought it to my attention like, you're not gonna be in the bed with me and watch porn. She started to ask me, "You don't desire me?" Obviously she's very beautiful. It was just something that was hard for me to answer. - The very first conversation was like, Hello, I'm right here! What are you doing? Why are you doing that? You know? Anytime I would bring this up to him, he'd just experience a lot of shame. A lot of shame. Did not want to talk about it. Just kind of shut down, didn't have the answers. And later I learned he didn't have the answers because he's never been asked these questions. I think the shame created more pornography watching. It was just a vicious cycle. - It made me feel small. - What made you feel small? - That you had a problem with it. - That I had a problem with your sex addiction, it made you feel small? - I was embarrassed. - Okay. I hold you on a high platform in my life, so that embarrassment I just didn't wanna take anymore. I wanna be proud when I'm around you. - I needed another resource, I need something else that can help us monitor this, can keep him accountable. - It was really tough, I was trying to find ways how to break through the phone. If you're an addict with anything, every day's a struggle. - Yeah, just to stay clean. - Everyday is a struggle. Just fight through it. I know it's gonna be hard, but things that are really gonna pay off, they should be hard. I think it was a little easier to give up drugs because I don't think you can die from watching porn. Even though you kill relationships with people that you really love. - Before Covenant Eyes, and when out he was sneaking, our tactic became when I left the house, he would give me his phone, and I would take his phone. I didn't really like that, because I felt like it was me putting him on punishment, and he couldn't just be an adult. But it worked for him, so it was a short term solution. And then here came Covenant Eyes, which was like, oh you can keep your phone, you can do whatever you need to do, and if you do try to watch porn, I will be notified. - I can see really why men would think it's "uncool", you know what I'm saying? to stop watching porn. Like any addiction that you have, you're gonna have relapses. You just have to be truthful to yourself: when you relapse, what was your trigger? If you put God first, you can get past anything. - It's just really worth the fight, if it's- I don't want to minimize sex addiction, or porn addiction at all, because it's major. But it's worth fighting for it, so you can meet and get the whole person that you're dating. 'Cause with all the porn involved, you don't really get to date who you're dating. - I don't mind confronting that one day at a time theory. There's gonna be confrontation with your process. And then hopefully if you stay away from your addiction long enough, you can just able to suppress it. And not have it flourish. (gentle music) Sometimes when you're caught up in your addictions, you start to become the company that you keep. So I know if I'm around you, that ain't gonna happen. If I'm around anybody that's positive, or talking to my kids or talking to my family, staying in touch, staying present. Realizing what's important to you. It's easy, if you do that, put God first. My plan's gotten stronger, and me trusting myself, which is important. I wanna shake this label of being selfish. - It was really fun going through it with him, because when he would get an urge, he would say, okay I need to take a walk. Or, let's go get some ice cream. Or, let's go see something. He would deal with the anxiety, and then I had to stand my ground to not become his porn. You gotta fight through these urges, Lamar. You have to find something else. He would do that. Meditate, watch a movie, take a walk, exercise, something else. To just calm him down. Just watching him learn these things is the turn on. Is what makes me attracted, to watch him overcome this and not just be like, oh, great, now we're dull because his porn is gone. He's found the ways. That was the difference between a very low relationship to now, we're very high. - Knowing that she's with me helps me. Every which way, shape, or form. It's like I have a teammate, not just my girl. First of all, to be known as a womanizer, a liar, a cheat ... I think it's brought trust. From me, how she looks at me. Which is the most important, there's no relationship without trust. She can trust me when she leaves the house now, trust my movements and how I'm thinking, and what I'm thinking about. Of course that's brought us closer in a short period of time. (gentle music) I'm not a liar anymore. I don't wanna live like that anymore. (gentle music)