How to Confess Your Porn Addiction to Your Spouse

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Don’t forget to pray. Ask God to prepare your spouse’s heart for your confession. Ask the Holy Spirit to be present with both of you during this and subsequent conversations. Pray for protection against the enemy coming in to do more damage to your relationship.

Don’t choose your timing poorly. Sometimes when we need to confess something to someone, we want to sneak it in when there’s not much time so the conversation will be over as fast as possible. Don’t drop a bomb and then expect to move on to your next activity. When you confess, make sure you have the time to allow both of you to talk and process as you need in a safe place.

Don’t expect forgiveness right away. Yes, we are supposed to forgive one another because we are all sinners and God always forgives us when we ask. Allow for your spouse to be human and know it might take some time for her to come to a place where she forgives you. Also be aware she might verbally say, “I forgive you” but her actions and emotions might not match up with that right away.

Don’t go in without a plan for recovery. If you know what you need in order to find freedom from your addiction, let your spouse know how you are actively breaking your addiction. If you are at a total loss for what your next steps should be, enlist the help of a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor.

Don’t stop praying. Keep praying individually and together. Pray for yourself and for your spouse. The enemy has many entrances to both the addicted and the spouse, but the power of prayer and the Word of God are strong weapons to keep Satan out and love in.

After you confess, you might doubt you did the right thing. But truth is always better than a lie. In order for your marriage to be whole, you and your spouse need to be real with each other. Learn how to best support each other and be mutually invested in each other’s healing and recovery, whether it’s porn or any other thing in the way of a loving, strong, healthy marriage.